The wren that sang as I crossed The Lea

Went unnoticed by the people ahead

Who paid no heed to the waterfall of notes that stopped me dead.

I know she was not singing for me, as she paused, and waiting

It occurred she may be shy, so I moved again

And smiled as I walked on and

She resumed her song.

Loveless

I believe I was

Once loved.

You said you did.

Had it ended already

Before you told me?

I may now be unloved

But I am not loveless

In my life

I refuse that path.

I’ve seen it. I’m familiar with the

Darkness. Hence,

I choose a life, less loved, perhaps.

But loving.

I have love to give.

I just need to remember how.

Mother’s Day

18 and a half years since you died and

Yet, I still cannot forget, on what

Proved to be

The last time I saw you,

Your kind face hurt by my unkind words.

Haunted still, but it was

A beautiful day,

Which was also

Likely the day before you died.

I left early.

Early August. The height of Summer.

I wish I’d made better use of the 6 hours I sacrificed.

Walked round your small garden with you

One more time, admiring the bursting

Flower beds and listening to you

Naming the plants in your borders.

Perhaps, in response to my curious

We would both have long forgotten

My grumps, before I drove away

And left you for the last time.

My heart aches

And needs to be heard as

The words I’ve supressed have now stuffed every crevice full

Instead of the muffling effect

Layering insulating the

Bandaging of the ouch

They’ve leached through and are spilling over.

I’m wishing on a star…..

1/1/24

Another new day, that is also today the start of a new week, new month and new year.

New me?

I quite like the old one. Like the curate’s egg.

When our words

Wove a web of wonder

We would happily wend our way

Together. Lazily exploring each sparkling silken thread that

Took our fancy,

We had all the time in the world.

Now I wander through woods

Alone. Wistful, for all that is past.

And yet…

Is anything ever truly gone, forever?

What is lost, may yet be found.

I weave my story still. And discover anew every day.

Wishes and words bring vast vistas into existence

I can choose where I want to explore.

Looking forward

Looking forward

The cat sleeps some more

Her breathing sometimes silent

Othertimes tiny snores.

Her curled body rests

At the end of my bed

On the throw that is in part

Placed there for her comfort.

She has kept me company

And warm,

Through these long-short days

Whilst I recover from

This transient illness

That in the great scheme of my life

Will barely register, but currently

Feels interminable.

Imagine if no cat though.

I’m grateful for her mercies.

Don’t tell her.

She’ll be unbearable.

I thought you were the one.

You’d found me

When we’d missed each other

All those years ago

Without realising

Until now.

An attractive premise

Around which we, I? wove dreams.

Have I lost you?

You were never mine to lose.